Saturday, December 24, 2011

My Heart Broken Into A Pieces

Hello my lovely pretties and handsome ♥
Actually I don't want to make this post.
But seriously I can't hold it anymore.
Just consider this entry as my heart's talks.
Don't trust too much. Don't love too much. Don't hope too much. Because that too much will hurt you so much.
Err.. I don't know what am I gonna type here. Just wanna post something that can make me feel good. Maybe he'll read this and got my feeling right now. You know that I'm not the one who love to post about cintan cinton lovey dovey about my boyfie right. Errr I should not call him my boyfie anymore. I knew that he's cheating me on my back. Urghh. My heart was seriously injured and need some operation. It need an intensive care unit right now. Iss was right, I suppose to hear him. Single is the best. Much better. Should I consider myself as a single already? I do not know. Maybe I am the person who did wrong here.
The scariest things about distance is that you don't know whether they will miss you or forget you
Maybe I really did wrong. I knew that he's far away from me, it's hard for him to spend his time for me. I am always the one who ignoring his call even he's always trying make his time for me. He's always busy. I should get it since we start our relationship then. But what am I doing? When he's calling me, I didn't pick up the call because I'd got something to do on that time. Err and I should give him a call back after that but I am not doing it. Am I not serious with him? Am I? Erghh I don't know. He's texting me and I used to reply with the only letter like 'k'. What am I doing actually? Then he's really thought that I'm not serious with our relationship while I think that I am serious. Come on dude, I hate being controlled by other person.
Apologizing does not always mean that you're wrong and the other person is right. It just mean that you value your relationship more than your ego
I knew that I am doing wrong. But I didn't ask for his forgiveness, I never apologize to him. When he's did wrong, I'll talk about it. That's my fault. I admit it. I knew that I am suppose to considering everything. Everything about us. Age range, distance, thinking, it's really messing me. Even there's someone told that one person will complete another person's life. Naaahhh, do I care about it. For me, compatibility suit me best. And I don't feel it with him. Sorry. It was my mistake.
Sometimes it takes a while for people to move on, because it hurts too much. But sometimes those who say they've moved on really haven't Because they don't want to get hurt again. They don't want to feel vulnerable.
I am that kind of person. I don't want to get hurt again. He'd ask me to change, and I'd changed it. Even I know that I'm not totally change. I love to do everything on my own. With my own willingness. Perhaps, he already sick of me now. And people do change. Like me, and he also change without I notice it. I feel that he's going far away from me.
When someone walks out of your life, they are giving you the sign there is someone better to be in your life.
I am doing it right now. I had walks out of his life. Hoping that he'll happy even without me. Happy with his new 'her' that used to hurt me. He may thought that I know nothing about her. But I'm not a fool who'll only looking at it and keep silent. Maybe he found her something precious than me. Who knows.
The part that hurts me the most, is knowing that I once had you and then lost you
Thanks for your existence. Thanks for being yourself when you're with me. If you want me to let you go, I'll let you go with full of my heart. I am really willing this. I'll pray on your happiness. Keep smiling for your life. I'll keep looking on you from here. You'd feel pain and hurt a lot because of me. Sorry for that. My love feeling had shade away. I don't have any kind of love feeling right now. I should let you go than keep you by my side without loving you. It's heartless. I'm not that cruel. Let's start our new life. Take this as our gift for new year celebration. Close your eyes and just think it as a dream. Live your life with full of bliss.
Life is like a party. You invite a lot of people. Some go, some join you, some laugh with you, some didn't come. But in the end, after the fun, there would be a few who would clean up the mess with you. And most of the time, those were the uninvited ones.
I've got something here. I learn something new. Thanks for those were the uninvited ones. I used to forgot about them. When I am happy with someone else, I forgot my most precious friends that used to be with me all this time. Cheering me, supporting me, keep me on smiling, they're my most precious things in my life. But I'd used to forgot them. Sorry guys, I know that both of you thought that I'd forgetting you. Do forgive me please. And thanks for making me smile.

Till then ByeBye

Don't Be a Silent Reader Because You Have an Identity

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